Sources have provided me with an exclusive list of Bradley Beal’s new year’s resolutions. I present it to you now in its entirety with no modifications or commentary:
-Shoot over 38% from the field
-Get a girlfriend by the end of the year – no excuses!!!
-Force a trade somewhere, anywhere, please god, get me away from this toxic, wretched franchise, please
-Gain the ability to grow facial hair
-Shoot over 30% from three [editor’s note: I lied about the commentary part. Beal you suck]
-Tell that YouTube guy DownToBuck to make some more highlight packages of me, but only if he promises not to make fun of me