Ten points. Ten assists. Ten rebounds. Truly the worst triple-double possible. Who else has attained this embarrassing, shameful achievement? Only a few, and they all sucked: Penny Hardaway, Jason Kidd, and Andre Iguodala (twice). All horrible players who were certainly not all-star quality or even close. Only a moron would think that a triple-double of…
Read MoreMonth: March 2013
Landry Fields 15 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2013)
The Internet is a dark, disturbing place. Full of horrible memes, crappy blogs and their corresponding comment sections, and bronies. But the worst of all is certainly the fanfiction involving Jeremy Lin and Landry Fields. Yeah, I know. Who writes that stuff? I don’t even want to think about it. I blame Google’s autocomplete. It…
Read MoreBrandon Jennings 11 Points/Career High 19 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2013)
This game calls into question everything I thought I knew about Brandon Jennings. He’s supposed to be a low-intelligence chucker with bad court vision and average playmaking ability. A skinny guy with little in the way of traditional point guard skills who once made a video of himself dancing to a Lady Gaga song. But…
Read MoreBrook Lopez 22 Points/3 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/2/2013)
Yeah, you’re seeing it correctly. 3 rebounds. 3 rebounds in 34 minutes. I don’t care that Lopez is playing next to Reggie Evans. 3 rebounds is straight up Bargnani-esque. I don’t get how that even happens. As a 7-footer he should be able to get at least 5 just by being there. I demand an…
Read MoreJeremy Evans Career High 14 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
Jeremy Evans is the quintessential “victory cigar”. Or “loss cigar” in some cases. Either way, he almost never sees the court, and when he does, it’s only for seconds at a time, and only when the game is out of reach for one team or the other. But with Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap both…
Read MoreJeff Green 18 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
It would not be fair to call Jeff Green a bust. He was pretty good his first few years in the league, and then he was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm. Now, I don’t know what an “aortic” is, and I certainly have no idea what an “aneurysm” is, but it sounds like something that…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
I watch every team in the league while doing these highlights. That means I get to hear every commentating crew. They all have unique stylistic differences. But what sets the Jazz commentating crew apart is the fact that they have Matt Harpring, who is probably the worst colorman in the league. I hate him. He…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
Lots of Euro big-men get labeled as “The Next Dirk”. If you can shoot a jumper, be white and freakishly tall, and come from Europe, you too can earn the label. Is Donatas Motiejunas the next Dirk? Maybe. But probably not. That title is reserved for Tim Ohlbrecht. Put he is showing that he can…
Read MoreBradley Beal Career High 29 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
A sprawled out figure lay face-down on a ratty old couch. A bag of half-finished Doritos sat on the table, next to a few empty beer cans. An orange tabby lay next to his owner, content and purring. The figure stirred, and reached over to give the cat a little scratch behind the ears. “Oh…
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