Nikola Vucevic 22 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/30/2013)

“Hurry up fatty! I want to ride the Astro Orbitor again!”

A red-faced Glen Davis had just caught up to his companion. “Nik, you might be our franchise center, but if you call me fat one more time…”

Nikola laughed. “Whatever you say, tubby. We gotta hit all the rides at least once more before the park closes, and your jiggly thighs are slowing me down.”

Glen sighed. “Fine, but we’re stopping for some grub after this one, my stomach’s telling me it needs a corn dog.”

“More like five corn dogs,” Nikola muttered, prompting a glare from his teammate.

After the ride was complete, Nikola exclaimed, “Wow! That one never gets old! How about just one more go-around, and then we can stop to feed your lard ass.”

Glen Davis shoved Nikola in the chest. “You know, I’m getting really damn sick and tired of your wisecracks. I have no idea why I agreed to go to Disney World with you. This place sucks. It’s for little kids, and you’re running around like it’s the greatest damn place on earth. Here’s a hint for you: it’s not. It’s a turd tower covered with pink glitter, built by the unyielding hand of capitalism, designed to exploit your nostalgia for monetary gain.”

Nikola looked startled. “But…”

Glen cut him off. “They’re abusing you, Nik. Can’t you see that? The rides, the attractions, the fake characters walking around, it’s all taking advantage of your childlike wonderment. The corpse of Walt Disney has dug his decayed claws into your stomach, tugged out the intestines, and dragged you by your own entrails into a swirling vortex of money and vomit.”

Nikola was now crying. “But, there’s Snoopy over there, and Sleeping Beauty over there, and…”

Glen punched Nikola in the face before he could continue. “You are a basketball player. You are an adult. You are not a kid anymore. I’m out.” With that, Glen stomped towards the nearest exit.

Nikola picked himself up off the ground, rubbing the cheek which had been assaulted by his teammate’s fist. He looked around at the gaudy decorations of the park. “Glen’s right. My childhood is behind me now. I need to fulfill my duty as a basketball player, for my fans. These kids, these kids all around me, engorged on the gruel supplied to them by ma$$ media, I can be their hero, and help wean them off the teat of corporate America through the kinetic beauty of my post moves,” he said to himself. “Yeah. That will be cool.”

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