Roy Hibbert 19 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (12/31/2013)

2013 has finally left us behind, after 365 days of torment and misery, and in its place is the year 2014, who will doubtlessly be as cruel or crueller than the past year. In the distance I can hear the sounds of resolutions being broken. I for one have already failed in all of my efforts to improve my life. Work out every morning for thirty minutes? This morning I woke up, scratched my ass, and sat down to make highlights. Gain 20 pounds of muscle? Let’s get real here. I ain’t ever gonna do that. Go the entire year without visiting a fast food establishment? For breakfast I had two Sausage McMuffins, then I went to Burger King and got some of their mini-Cinnabons for dessert. So what if breakfast doesn’t have dessert? I play by my own rules.

Anyway, thanks to reliable sources within the Hibbert family, I have some of Roy’s resolutions with commentary from yours truly:

-Average five blocks a game (good start!)
-Ask out the cutie who works concessions in Section C (word on the street is that she has the clap)
-Get Danny Granger traded somewhere (sorry Roy, players don’t get to make trades, only GM’s)
-Open a taco truck and charge hipsters five dollars for a mediocre taco (stick it to ’em Roy! Stick it to ’em!)
-Win a ring (could happen)
-Go back and finally beat Pokemon Red after all these years stuck at that one gym leader who is a total bitch (PC gaming master race here, enjoy your kids game loser)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.