Tristan Thompson 25 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (2/12/2014)

Tristan “Triscuits” Thompson has the ugliest game in the league. In no way are any of his so-called “moves” graceful, smooth, or controlled. In some ways, his post play resembles my own – I do whatever it takes to get a shot off, however off-balance. The difference is that I am 5’9” and only able to back down other short people, while Triscuits is significantly taller.

The other problem with Triscuits is that, in addition to the jilted quality of his “moves”, none of them are really a “go-to move”. The closest thing he has to that is his floater, but floaters are only shot by people who are too unskilled or unathletic to get off another shot. Again, that is why I shoot them when I play basketball. That and fadeaway jumpers. As you can tell, I am a god on the courts.

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