Mike Miller 19 Points Full Highlights (4/11/2014)

If you ever want to heighten your already strong feelings of worthlessness, this video is necessary viewing:

For those too lazy to click (which is everybody, including me), it’s basically a video of Mike Miller with no shirt on hitting a bunch of threes. Just a few seconds into it and my self-esteem plummeted into negative numbers. Ever since watching it a few weeks ago, I barely have the motivation to get out bed, much less feed/clean myself and make highlight videos. My friendships are falling apart and my living area is filthy. Life really does not seem to be worth the effort anymore.

In that video, Mike Miller is the perfect man. His body is so ripped that he could hold pencils in the crevices between his muscles. If he was left alone with your girlfriend, you’d probably be taking care of his babies in nine months. And not only that, he was splashing threes with seemingly no effort on his part. If you girlfriend were somehow able to resist the allure of his musky musculature, her clothes would be off in an instant once she saw how automatic Miller is from three. Then she would birth his babies and make you take care of them.

Making this video hurt me deep on the inside. I just wish Tracy would come back.

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