It’s been a while since I updated you guys on my rap career. The people in LA aren’t as nice as the people in Wisconsin, but the record label guys want me to be here, so I guess I’ll be here for the time being. They also don’t want me posting my rhymes on the internet, but they can’t stop me. I just laid down a sweet new beat and needed some inspiration to write the rapping parts – this video was that inspiration.
I’ve got a music video idea that I’m going to pitch to the label guys. It’s going to be me and Jeff Green riding around Compton while holding marijuana leaves. I’ve got some stripper lady-friends that are looking for an “in” into the acting business so they’ll probably dance around in bikinis for only a small fee. Not like I need to worry about money or anything. But yeah, you’ll be seeing me on the You Tubes pretty soon.
WARNING: DOPE RHYMES AHEAD
“Straight reppin’ his Maryland homies
Propositionin’ chicks with lots of “blow-mes”
Don’t look at naked guys, that’s factual
Unless you wanna be labeled a homosexual
Drafted fifth overall seven years ago
He should be in his prime, you know
If your eyes wander in the locker room
Eric Reid would say, “You’re gay, kaboom!”
Who’s that comin’ to dunk yo ass?
Jeff-dawg, Jeff-dawg
What’s that he got in his mouth?
Spliff-dawg, spliff-dawg
Jeff never really lived up to his draft slot
Probably ’cause he smoke too much pot
He’s also got a benzo addiction fo’ real
You see it in his eyes, he don’t even feel
Now he wearin’ the Celtic green and white
Leading scorer on a bad team, that’s awright
Just shot a career low from the floor
After he retires he’ll probably be poor
Who’s that guy coastin’ through games?
Green-dawg, Green-dawg
Who announces the finals that Jeff will never see?
Breen-dawg, Breen-dawg”
ORIGINAL RHYMES DO NOT STEAL