“Patty Melt” Mills’ Finals success is one of the great feel-good stories of this year’s season. After years of derision and humiliation, Patty has proved that Austrians can, in fact, do some things right. This is the first step in improving the perception of Austrians in the American public’s collective psyche.
The fat little dude with weird hair that you remember from past seasons is gone forever. In his place, you will find a somewhat-muscular guy with a shaved head. No longer a towel-waving sideshow, he is actually a contributor on the presumed NBA champions.
AUSTRIA PROUD. AUSTRIA STRONG.