Aaron Gordon 11 Points Magic Debut Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

Slumbering serenely in my bed, I dreamt of all the normal subjects: females, unrecognized anxieties, food, and things that my waking brain does not let me recall. Whatever my dream was at that moment, it didn’t matter, for I felt myself being poked in the back, and I awoke.

My girlfriend Nadine often does this to me if I oversleep. However, when my eyes opened, the only light was the yellow glow of a nighttime streetlamp filtering around the edges of the windowshade. My girl sleeps like a tranquilized boulder, so she wouldn’t be the perpetrator. My next thought was my rambunctious little kitty, Japurri, but he, too, was in his normal place at my feet, sound asleep. Only in a few hours would he pester me for his breakfast.

I was ready to dismiss the poking as a dreamborn hallucination and go back to sleep, when I abruptly noticed that the usual sounds of Nadine’s cute semi-snoring (she doesn’t believe me that she does it) were not present. Instead, there was a deeper, distinctly unfeminine breathing. Again, I felt a prodded finger right below my shoulder blades, this time accompanied by a whispered, “Wake up! DownToBuck, wake up!”

Okay, so it definitely wasn’t Nadine. She calls me by my real name no matter how many times I correct her.

I debated turning over to face my unexpected guest. The prodding continued unabated, meaning that whoever it was thought I was still asleep. Could I wait it out until Nadine came back from wherever she was and ejected the imposter from our bedroom? After thirty or so seconds, the answer was a definite “no.” Whoever this guy was, he was not a gentle poker, and his repeated entreaties of “Wake up, DTB!” were, honestly, a bit annoying.

“What do you want?” I grumbled, shifting my body over to rest on its other shoulder. Even in the dim light, the face that greeted me was unmistakable. The bald head, the gaunt cheekbones, the overlarge smile…

“Do you know what day it is, DTB?” Adam Silver asked excitedly, maintaining his whisper. I was still a little tired and couldn’t come up with the answer fast enough before he continued, “It’s a very important day for all of us!”

“What’d you do with my girlfr-” I started, before the realization hit me. As my eyes grew wide, so too did Adam’s smile. He nodded, encouraging me to speak.

“The NBA starts today,” I breathed. “The first day of seven uninterrupted months of basketball.” Already, the tingling began to work its way down my body, my neurons and axons firing uncontrollably in their excitement.

Adam clapped his hands happily. “That’s right! And if you come with me into the living room, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

All thoughts of my girlfriend banished from my mind, I threw off the covers and hopped out of my bed. Japurri meowed indignantly and stared at me with reproach, but I paid him no heed. Still dressed in just my boxers, I followed the suit-clad Commish into the short hallway of my small apartment. When I turned the corner into the living area, I was met by the most wonderful sight.

In what should have been a spatial impossibility, there were hundreds of NBA players in my apartment. Sitting on the furniture, leaning against the walls, reclining on the floor, they all smiled and waved as if I was a close friend, greeting me with a chorus of “What’s up”s and “Hey man”s. As I looked around, I recognized many of the faces: Anthony Morrow, Luke Babbitt, Marreese Speights, Tony Wroten, Giannis Antetokounmpo, and innumerable other role-players.

There were too many words to say them all. I wanted to tell Morrow how he would be the second-leading scorer for OKC until Durant returned, I wanted to tell Wroten to abandon his jumpshot for good, but more importantly, I just wanted to thank them all for undertaking the thankless job of doing each of their respective team’s dirty work.

A single concern lingered in my mind, causing me to frown slightly. Adam Silver, sensing something amiss, answered the unasked question. “Don’t worry about that, DownToBuck. The NBA is your girlfriend now.”

With those truest of words, I again relaxed and smiled. Nadine was my past, forever behind me. The NBA would be my only lover now.

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