Andrew Wiggins: BETTER or WORSE than Michael Jordan?
Let’s take a look at the facts.
[DRAFT POSITION]
Wiggins: Drafted first overall
MJ: Drafted third overall
Who wins? Wiggins
[TEAM AS OF THIS WRITING]
Wiggins: Minnesota Timberwolves
MJ: Charlotte Hornets, as owner
Who wins? MJ
[CURRENT STATUS AS BASKETBALL PLAYER]
Wiggins: Active
MJ: Inactive, but says he could beat anybody on the Hornets 1-on-1
Who wins? Wiggins
[BASKETBALL SKILL AT PEAK]
Wiggins: Who knows? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to predict 25 PPG accompanied by outstanding individual defense. We’ll see if he becomes THE MAN on the Timberwolves or just a piece of the puzzle that they’re slowly assembling. It would not affect his real skills if he wasn’t the singular centerpiece, but it would affect his numbers.
MJ: I guess he is the GOAT or close to it. Every time I pop in my Unstoppa-BULLS VHS championship tape, I get hyped all over again. If I have a bad day I can just queue up some Jordan highlights on YouTube and I am whisked away back to the 1990’s, back when he could do absolutely anything on the basketball court and nobody could stop him.
Who wins? MJ
[GENERAL MANAGER SKILLS]
Wiggins: Unproven
MJ: Poor to bad
Who wins? Wiggins
[MOVIE APPEARANCES]
Wiggins: None
MJ: Space Jam was awesome. I still watch it to this day. EVERYBODY GET UP IT’S TIME TO SLAM NOW WE GOT A REAL JAM GOING DOWN WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM
Who wins? MJ
[DAD STATUS]
Wiggins: Dad is still playing an active role in his son’s life, supporting him as he makes the diffcult transition the NBA game and the NBA lifestyle.
MJ: Killed his dad with his gambling debts.
Who wins? Wiggins
[ENDORSEMENT POWER]
Wiggins: He could tell me to shop at Home Depot more often and I would just scratch my ass and tell myself that the hole in the drywall isn’t so bad anyway.
MJ: When he told me to use Rayovac batteries I immediately replaced every single battery in the house with Rayovac. When it comes to clothes, if it’s not Hanes, it doesn’t touch my body. I’m not some kind of caveman here.
Who wins? MJ
[BODY WEIGHT]
Wiggins: Not exactly ripped, but there is no trace of fat anywhere on his body except for his squirrelly cheeks.
MJ: He’s sort of porked out. I wonder if he can still dunk.
Who wins? Wiggins
FINAL VERDICT: Andrew Wiggins is BETTER than Michael Jordan.
Part V: http://youtu.be/23Rkd4ULMnM