After enduring a long day of testing, DeAndre returned to his room. Of the innumerable solutions the aliens had concocted, none had improved his jumpshot or his ball-handling in any appreciable way. Moreover, they left his muscles sore and his head cloudy. It was so difficult to focus on the plans he had been making…
Read MoreMonth: May 2015
DeAndre Jordan All 252 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation Part I)
DeAndre Jordan awoke in an unfamiliar room. His luxurious bedding at home had been replaced by a tough cot. Outside his window sailed endless pinpoints of light that could only be stars. Before he could do any more than register these facts, he was faced with what must have been some kind of alien. Surprised,…
Read MoreFestus Ezeli 12 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (5/27/2015)
For a playoffs where I made a bunch of highlights of Clint Capela, highlights where he failed to score even 10 points, there sure was a lack of comparable Festus Ezeli vids. No one even likes Capela! I totally would have done one when he scored 10 points in game 3, but I was out…
Read MoreJason Terry 16 Points Full Highlights (5/27/2015)
Jason Terry, with the rest of his Rockets teammates, sat morosely in the locker room, not speaking. They knew that this was the end of their season. How could they forget? The time had now come. With no more basketball left to be played, there was no reason to postpone the inevitable. Grabbing the white…
Read MoreDraymond Green 21 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (5/25/2015)
What I want is for Draymond Green to get paid a max contract by the Pistons in the offseason. That’s what I want. Why do I want that? Because we will get to see how Draymond fits into a system where Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson AKA “The Splash Bros” get replaced by Brandon Jennings…
Read MoreKyle Korver All 221 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part II)
The story so far: I met a chick at Dunkin Donuts who was so hot and persistent that she made me break my vow to never again form relations with a woman. We went to my apartment and started watching Dude Where’s My Car. I took a pee break and when I came back she…
Read MoreKyle Korver All 221 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part I)
As you all know, DownToBuck has been done with women since the beginning of the season because every time I get close to a lady, she somehow finds out about Kyle Korver and then runs away to go live with him or something. Honestly, I lose track of them once they split, so for all…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 10 Points Full Highlights (5/20/2015)
That’s real cool TNT. Real cool. Give us replays of everything but the one thing we most want to see replayed. Nobody even cares about sick baseline dunks anyway. Just another routine basketball play for a guy who probably does baseline dunks in every game. There was certainly never a point during Reggie Millers’ inane…
Read MoreClint Capela 9 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (5/19/2015)
Clint Capela vs Festus Ezeli. Who ya got? A difficult question to be sure. Let me help you in your pursuit of the correct answer (Yes, there is a correct answer. This is not a matter of opinion). Clint Capela: just turned 21, which means that he can now legally imbibe alcohols and also has…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 20 Points Full Highlights (5/19/2015)
Earlier in the season I said some bad stuff about Trevor Ariza. Some stuff about contract years and shooting below 40% from the field and maybe even some worse stuff. All of those words were typed in anger. But I’m not going to take any of it back. Trevor Ariza has, in his own way,…
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