Sitting at his kitchen table, Jordan Clarkson stared at the pile of unopened fan mail. “Honey, I know you always tell me that I should be grateful for my fans, but this is ridiculous.”
Jordan’s girlfriend, who was busy making omelets, responded, “I do tell you that, but that doesn’t mean you have to open all of them. You know it’s just going to be a bunch of Filipinos begging you to play for their national team.”
Jordan grabbed a letter from the top of the pile. The return address, as predicted, was located in the Philippines. “Let’s see,” he said, although he knew that his girlfriend was probably right. He began to read out loud:
“Dear Jordan,
We would very much like for you to play for Pilipinas in international basketball competitions. As you know, the Pilipino people are very short. Much advantage would be made if man of tall stature like yourself play for us. We all promises not to make you play center unless it is your wish.”
Sincerely,
-Liberato.”
Jordan shook his head. He would love to play for their team just so he could average forty points per game, but the scheduling never seemed to work out. He contemplated throwing the rest of the mail in the trash, but decided to look at one more. There was always the possibility it was from an American girl who would be down for some clandestine fun. Or it might be a shoe deal contract from Nike. You never could know for sure.
When he opened the next envelope, a Polaroid picture fell out onto the floor. From the quick glance Jordan got of it, it was of a Filipino girl. With no clothes on. Before he could properly dispose of it, his girlfriend had snatched it off the floor. “Who is this? You haven’t been sending her pictures behind my back, have you?”
“No, I swear, if I wanted to do that I would just use Snapchat! You know I don’t like Filipinos anyway, babe.” While his girlfriend continued to throw accusations at him, he read the enclosed letter.
“Dear Jordan,
My boyfriend says to me that if I send nude picture of myself to you, then you will represent Pilipinas in a sports contest. I don’t know much of sports but I sent the picture you wanted. I hope it works. If you have girlfriend already make sure that you hide picture from her.
-Riza.”