At one point, Julius Randle was certainly the league leader in my new proprietary advanced stat, TIP/36. In case you need a refresher, the “TIP” part is an acronym for “Thumbnail Images Produced” and the 36 stands for “36 minutes”. In his first few games, Randle was producing thumbnail images at a rate unparalleled since Kelly Tripucka. However, as of this game, his production has dropped off precipitously, causing many to speculate, is Randle even top ten league-wide in this stat? Is he even the best ON HIS OWN TEAM?
You might not believe me when I tell you that I only had two thumbnail images to choose from this game. Cease your disbelief, fool! It is true. Your beloved Randle is no longer elite in this category.
I do have good news for all the Laker fans out there who I hate: I have developed an entirely new advanced stat which Randle will surely dominate for years. I call it RP/36, or “Replays per 36”. Television crews just can’t stop showing replays of this guy. It was honestly a little tiresome to show every play twice, but if history has taught us anything, it’s that YouTube users will watch a highlight video even if it is overladen with replays of unimpressive plays. Coughcoughdawkinscoughcoughgdhackcough wow I got something caught in my throat there.