The first thing the NBA should do if they want to get more fans is to abolish the “no hanging on the rim” rule. Telling basketball players not to hang on the rim is like telling football players not to spike the ball after touchdowns. If JaMychal Green, or anybody else, totally whaps it on somebody with vicious intentions, he should get to have a little personal moment of celebration. It shouldn’t be a crime to get hyped up a little bit.
Let’s put it another way: if I could dunk, and I dunked on somebody in-game, I would do pull-ups on the rim until my arms fell off. I wouldn’t let go even if the entire opposing team grabbed onto my legs Space Jam style.
In fact, let’s go one further: after dunks, teams should be allowed thirty seconds to do a choreographed dance routine, props optional but encouraged. The dance routine could include additional dunks or just a bunch of shimmies and shakes. If any member of the other team rolls their eyes or looks annoyed, they automatically forfeit the game and have to stand under the basket for five minutes while the victors throw down dunks on them.
What I’m wondering is why the NBA doesn’t just hire me right now to sit around and come up with rad ideas like this one.