Mario Hezonja 11 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)

Mario Hezonja is the perfect role model for teens who need somebody to look up to. I’m not talking about Croatian teens, although I guess they could look up to him too if they really wanted. What I’m talking about here is kids with bad acne.

Hezonja is proof positive that even if you have huge red dots covering your face like a carpet of pissed off fire ants, you can be successful in whatever field you choose. Hezonja chose basketball, but there are lot of other options for the zitty people out there: portraying lepers in movies or TV shows, being a scary ghoul in a haunted house, helping out pharmaceutical companies with acne cream testing, or even just being a depressed shut-in whose face causes those who glimpse it to recoil in primal disgust.

I’ll just be over here scrubbing my face for the 10,000th time. Why did God curse me. There is no god.

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