So, this is it. This is my fate. Cursed to make “Terrence Jones 23 Points Full Highlights” videos until my failing lungs push my last rattling breath through my gasping, toothless mouth. So it was yesterday, so it is today, so it will be tomorrow. Or the day after, depending on when the Rockets next play a game. Jones will score 23 points on exceptional efficiency and I will repeat my task, for that is my duty.
I have tried to ask Jesus why he has consigned me to this torment, but Jesus apparently is not answering prayers at the moment. This form of perpetual, unattainable goal-setting is vaguely Sisyphean. Who knew that Jesus was into Greek mythology? I also tried to bypass Jesus and go directly to God but that didn’t work either. I mean, all I prayed for was for Jones to be struck down by a lightning bolt. That would be pretty easy for God to pull off and there wouldn’t be many consequences other than, of course, me not having to make his highlight videos anymore.
Curse this wretched existence and all those who are condemned to suffer it alongside me.