New idea for Hawks halftime entertainment: “The Thrillsap Experience”, where you get Paul Millsap to dance awkwardly for five minutes while the Hawks organ guy shreds the crap out of his organ and a heavy dubstep beat plays in the background. There should also be laser lights firing in every direction and in every color. Just thinking about it is getting me revved up. The Hawks are already pretty innovative in a lot of other parts of the fan experience (just make sure it’s not too “urban”!), so I’m sure they wouldn’t mind paying me $2,000 to use my idea.
Since the Thrillsap Experience will be a success whether or not Millsap is any good at dancing, it really can’t fail. The only downside I see is that fans will want to stay and watch the whole thing, which might delay their acquisition of overpriced concessions. Then again, watching such a sweaty, erotic, and titillating display of man-dancing might make them more likely to buy a fifteen-dollar “premium chicken tender platter” and a seven-dollar “large soda” afterwards.
Did I mention that Paul will only be wearing a tiny speedo during this whole performance? Contain your applause, people. I know I’m a genius.