Elfrid Payton 24 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2015)

There is a new civic engineering crisis in America. It is all of our duties to spread news of this impending disaster.

Elfrid Payton’s hair looks like it’s going to collapse in on itself at any moment. It dangles precariously from the top of his head, one sudden move from total loss of structural integrity. By what unholy forces it is held up, I don’t know, but those forces can only defy the laws of physics for so long. At some point in the near future, the entire hairpiece will come crashing down, and the result will be catastrophic.

I propose the construction of a support system on Payton’s head, using hair from the back of his head to create braces that will support the hair on the front of his head. In this way, the strength of the entire structure will be heightened, and there will be no loss in volume or mass.

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