Someone needs to tell Joffrey Lauvergne that his neckbeard looks horrible and needs to be removed. It can’t be just anybody, obviously. If I were to tell him, he would dismiss me as a know-nothing internet commentator who is merely jealous of his classy facial hair.
If we could find the person responsible for convincing Danilo Gallinari that his own horrific neck-fuzz required shaving, that would be perfect. That person already knows how to deal with the turbulent emotions of neckbeards and how to manipulate them into reformation.
Maybe an intervention is needed? Like, the Nuggets pretend they’re going to have a big party, and everyone gathers together at a bowling alley or something, and when Joffrey walks in, they start intervening by having heart-to-heart talks about how his abhorrent beard is tearing apart the team, and then Joffrey starts sobbing uncontrollably because he knows that it is his fault that the Nuggets suck.
Something needs to happen, at least, if not an intervention. This is getting out of hand.