Today my teammates played a very cruel trick on me.
We were in the locker room after we lost to the Raptors. I had personally done well in the game, so my teammates had all gathered around me, telling me about how I had made Jonas Valanciunas look foolish trying to defend me. We were all smiling and laughing even though we lost, and I was glad to be having a good time with my teammates.
Then, on some unseen cue, they all took torn-up bits of toilet paper out of their pockets and threw them at me. “It’s snowing, Gorgui, it’s snowing!” They all shouted. “Watch out, it’s snow, it’s coming for you!”
“Snow” is the term that Minnesotans use for the cursed white sand that falls from the sky. “Snowing” is the word that describes the very act of the white sand’s assault upon the Earth. Simply hearing these words uttered by another causes me to panic. Even writing them down here makes me shiver in fear.
Knowing that the infernal white sand is a plague sent by Satan himself, I had, and still have, no reason to believe that it cannot be summoned indoors. Between my teammates shouting at me and being blinded by a cloud of white particles, I must admit that I reacted poorly to what they thought was a harmless joke. I fell to the floor in tears, fearing for my very life and wailing prayers to god, until the “snow” had ceased. I only regained my composure when Ricky assured me that the entire thing had been a joke.
This event has shaken me to my very core, as I know that the next time I am targeted by the cursed white sand, it may not be simply a juvenile prank. In Senegal we receive none of this evil precipitation. Minnesota is a cursed, forsaken place.
P.S. I think I might be the second coming of KG. I’ll have to ask him about it tomorrow.”