Tag: Gorgui Dieng

“Dear diary, Recently, a large quantity of the cursed white sand has been deposited onto this land of Minnesota which is forsaken by god. Thankfully, the prophets and soothsayers employed by the local television stations under the title of “weatherman” were accurate in their auguries, and I was able to plan in advance of these…

“Dear Diary, One troubling ritual that the people of Minnesota take part in is that of making “snow-men”. When the cursed white sand falls to the ground in large enough quantities, the younglings of this land will run outside, sometimes even while the cursed precipitation is still falling, and make crude man-shaped figures from it….

“Dear Diary, Although I have taken many steps to ensure that the cursed white sand known colloquially as “snow” does not ever make contact with my bare skin, I must always be vigilant. Satan’s precipitation can be hurled from the clouds with very little warning. In fact, a blizzard is preferable to a brief burst…

“Dear Diary, Despite the fact that it is barely November, already there have been accumulations of the cursed white sand which this land of Minnesota has been punished with by Satan himself. This has forced me to take precautionary measures much earlier in the NBA season than I am used to. If even one grain…

“Dear Diary, The winter season in Minnesota is filled with many trials. The cold is harsh, but can be warded off with adequate layers of clothing. The lack of sunlight is depressing, but the bright lights of the arena are helpful. The Christmastime gift-giving season is tiresome, but fulfilling in its own way. However, this…

“Dear Diary, It is still early in the winter season here in Minnesota, thus, I have seen only scant traces of cursed white sand which all residents of this godforsaken land insist on calling “snow”. Even so, the small amounts of the devil’s sand strike into my heart a great fear, and I am wracked…