Who’s the better passing big, Blake Griffin or Mason Plumlee?
ASSISTS: Plumlee had seven. Griffin had four. Seven is more than four according to the rules of math.
PUNCHING PEOPLE: Griffin punches people all the time. He can’t go more than a few minutes without slamming his fist into somebody’s head. Mason Plumlee is a refined gentleman who never resorts to fisticuffs.
QUALITY OF PASSES: Griffin throws lobs to DeAndre but that’s easy. Anybody can do that. Plumlee makes difficult passes in tight corners that lead to easy baskets. If you make a cut near Plumlee you’re getting the ball.
INJURIES: Griffin punched himself into a six-week vacation because he broke his hand. Plumlee is durable, reliable, and doesn’t punch anybody.
FREE THROWS: It has nothing do with passing, but Plumlee purposely shoots his free throws in a stupid way because the normal way is too easy for him. Griffin is sufficiently challenged by conventional free throws because he sucks.
ASSISTS PER GAME: Griffin beats Plumlee in APG because he pads his stats. Plumlee’s stats are untainted by padding. Also Griffin puts up empty stats. Does he even help his team win?
FRECKLES: I didn’t know black people could have freckles.
DTB’S FINAL VERDICT OF TRUTH: Mason Plumlee is a BETTER big man passer than Blake Griffin.