April 2016 – Page 3

George Hill 22 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2016)

George Hill: is he an above average starting point guard? Does it even matter when you have Monta Ellis on your team? Given how top-to-bottom stacked the PG position is league-wide, it’s hard to make a case for Hill being a top ten PG. He might be top fifteen. But if he was not top…

C.J. McCollum 27 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2016)

In January I wrote these words in a C.J. McCollum video description: “Can you even win Most Improved Player if your minutes double from one year to the next? It’s not CJ’s fault that some losers named Wes Matthews and Arron Afflalo were hogging all the shooting guard minutes, and we all know that CJ…

Enes Kanter 28 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2016)

“Man, why do you look so sad?” Anthony Morrow asked, as he sat next to a morose Enes Kanter. “You dominated them!” “Yes, but Jesseca is still in Utah, and I am here alone,” Enes replied. “Christ, you’re still hung up on that broad? Didn’t you start hooking up with the Thunder cheerleaders yet? It’s…

Frank Kaminsky 15 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2016)

In this series against the Heat, prior to this game, Frank Kaminsky had attempted a grand total of ONE shot. ONE shot attempt in THIRTY-SEVEN minutes. The Hornets didn’t turn down that huge package from the Celtics and draft him so that he could never shoot the ball. They drafted him so he could stretch…

Ian Mahinmi Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2016)

I hereby apologize to all those new subscribers that I gained when I made that Stephen Curry three-ilation. My actions were misleading and reprehensible. I made those highlights, showcasing one of the NBA’s premiere talents, knowing full well that no more Curry highlights would be forthcoming. But did those new subscribers know? Of course not….

Jabari Parker All 129 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)

Jabari Parker opened his eyes to a squint. The light around him was too bright to open them any further. He thought at first that he was on some kind of examining table in a hospital, but as he took note of what surroundings he could see through the slit of his eyelids, he quickly…

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope 18 Points Full Highlights (4/22/2016)

All I want…all I NEED is for the Pistons to take a game off the Cavs. Just one. The Pistons have been competitive in every game at least through the first half, so it’s not like they can’t play better than the Cavs for an extended period of time. If the Cavs lose a game…

Dennis Schröder 20 Points Full Highlights (4/22/2016)

Bad news for Dënniß ßchrööder fans: it looks like the malignant yellow growth on his head has spread to the back of his neck, almost mockingly seeming to take the form of his jersey number, “17”. I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I’d say that he is not long for this world….

Shaun Livingston 16 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2016)

Since we already determined that Shaun Livingston deliberately sabotaged Curry’s ankles with a miniature hammer and chisel, is it wrong to blame Livingston for this loss? If we’re being honest with ourselves, there’s no way the Warriors lose this game or any other game if they have Curry available. But Livingston’s hubris has been his…

Marreese Speights 22 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2016)

I’ve been holding this one close to my chest. My most audacious and trailblazing nickname creation yet. The time has now come to reveal this new nickname to the world and, in doing so, introduce an entirely new way to refer to Marreese Speights in conversation. “Flying Speighetti Monster” I know, I know. I’m a…