OFFICIAL THINGS TO CALL THAT BIT OF HAIR STICKING UP ON MYLES TURNER’S HEAD IN THE THUMBNAIL POWER RANKINGS 1. Hair Erection 2. Cranium Boner 3. Pineapple Antenna 4. Praise to God 5. That Bit of Hair Sticking Up 6. Knibbly Knob
Read MoreMonth: April 2016
Wesley Matthews 22 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2016)
Wesley Matthews: bad contract or nah? I mean, he’s still averaging 12 points a game even after his Achilles injury. That’s pretty good, right? 39% shooting kind of sucks, but hey, injury, you know. Takes a while to get back into form. He can still make and take threes at a good clip, so who…
Read MoreDion Waiters 19 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2016)
Am I the only one who kind of wants to see what Dion Waiters could do with his own team again? I know I’m not. Waiters is one of the most reviled players in the league, but there are definitely a whole bunch of people who secretly want to see him be a beast. Remember…
Read MoreMason Plumlee 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (4/20/2016)
Who’s the better passing big, Blake Griffin or Mason Plumlee? ASSISTS: Plumlee had seven. Griffin had four. Seven is more than four according to the rules of math. PUNCHING PEOPLE: Griffin punches people all the time. He can’t go more than a few minutes without slamming his fist into somebody’s head. Mason Plumlee is a…
Read MoreAl Jefferson 25 Points Full Highlights (4/20/2016)
New plan for the Hornets in game 3: just throw the ball to Al Jefferson in the post and see how many times he can make Hassan Whiteside his bitch before Whiteside freaks out and gets ejected for punching his smug face. Once Whiteside is out of the way, it should be smooth sailing and…
Read MorePatty Mills 16 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2016)
This first round sucks. Did everybody forget how to shoot or what? Under no circumstances should Patty Mills’ 16 points be the highest scoring output in the entire game. Somebody tell the coaches to stop coaching so much defense. Maybe tell the refs to do something about it too. Adam Silver himself should have jogged…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 10 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2016)
HA! You thought you could escape the season without watching Terry Rozier highlights? Think again! I can imagine it now, you sitting in front of your computer, maybe using your phone, getting ready to look at your subscription box, thinking to yourself “Hell yeah I can’t wait to see what kind of cool stuff PewDiePie…
Read MoreKyle Korver 17 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2016)
Lost amongst the brouhaha regarding some dude with glass ankles making an unprecedented amount of threes is the lackluster season that Kyle Korver has been having. Remember, he was an All-Star last year. An undeserving one, maybe, but one nonetheless. Once the darling of the NBA, he has been reduced to sub-40% shooting from three…
Read MoreDTB’s Best NBA Dunks of the Month (April 2016 Dunkilation)
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE DUNK INTERLUDE I: SOME DUNKS, RANKED In our written history of the slam dunk, we have now arrived at the modern era of dunking. It would be rather pointless to expound in detail upon this era, as every possible reader will already have a thorough understanding of it. The explosion…
Read MoreRaymond Felton 21 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2016)
Raymond Felton was about a millionth of a second away from being a HUGE ball-gargling choker against the Thunder. Missing two free throws while up by one followed by the opposition hitting the game-winner as time expires? That’s bad. Really bad. That invalidates all the good that he did this game. Missing two free throws…
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