Marquese Chriss sat alone in his lightly-furnished Phoenix apartment. A small desk-sized Christmas tree was the only outward sign that the holiday was being celebrated there. That, and the large amount of Christmas cookies that were currently in his kitchen.
The last batch of cookies was presently baking in his oven; they would be finished any minute. Marquese looked impatiently at the time, wanting to begin his celebration. But he knew he couldn’t start until the requisite amount of cookies had been prepared. He tried to pass the time by watching funny YouTube videos, but their humor was dulled by Marquese’s agitation. Instead, he restlessly got up and turned on the light in his oven, watching the cookies’ final minutes of baking through the glass window.
Finally, the oven timer chimed, and Marquese removed the cookies from the oven. Ignoring the common advice to wait for the cookies to cool before decorating them, he grabbed his icing and hurriedly festooned the cookies with images of snowmen, Christmas trees, and stars. The icing was a little bit runny, but Marquese didn’t care at this point. The Christmas ritual had to begin soon or he was going to lose it.
Grabbing multiple gallon-jugs of milk from his refrigerator, Marquese walked to the apartment’s small bathroom. He made sure that the bathtub’s drain was properly plugged, then began to pour the milk into the tub. It was a painstaking process, but watching the pure white liquid flow from the cartons had a calming effect on Marquese. Several trips back and forth between the bathroom and refrigerator were necessary before the bathtub was sufficiently full.
Now he retrieved the trays of cookies that he had spent the entire day baking. He couldn’t tell how many he had made, but it had to be at least 500. It took several more trips to bring all the cookies into the bathroom; Marquese assuaged the tedium by sampling at least two or three from each pile. The sugary delights made him smile like a little kid.
The stage was now set. Moving tentatively and carefully so as to not disturb the piles of cookies, Marquese removed his clothes and set them aside. Naked, he lowered himself into the cool milk bath, laughing lightly when the chilled liquid first caressed his legs and buttocks. He took a minute to get acclimated to the temperature, then pulled towards him one of the platters of cookies that was balanced on the rim of the tub.
In one swift motion, Marquese picked up the tray and dumped the cookies directly onto his face and chest. He gnashed his teeth blindly, managing to chew off a few bites of stray cookies that landed near his mouth. One delicately-frosted delicacy finally entered fully between his lips; this one he chomped on happily until it disappeared down his throat. All around him, cookies floated in the milky ocean. Marquese greedily grabbed handfuls of them and began to slam them desperately into this mouth, knowing that the magic of the hours-long celebration was at its highest at the very beginning.
“MERRY CHRISSMAS!” Marquese bellowed in ecstasy, his mouth full of half-chewed cookies. “MERRY CHRISSMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!”
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