This is the first time in my nearly half-decade of highlight making that I have heard the word “naughty” used to reference a slam dunk. And I sincerely hope it is the last. “Naughty” is a word that has no place being uttered inside a place of basketball. That’s a word reserved for two things: rebuking young children and discussing deviant sexual acts. That’s it. No slam dunk has ever been naughty and no slam dunk will ever be naughty. Naughty is something that dunks cannot be. Naughty is when a kid knocks over a potted plant on purpose or when your girlfriend wants to do butt stuff.
I would go so far as to say that Simmons’ outstanding performance last night was ruined by the Spurs commentator’s comment about the quality of his whamjam. So ruined that I got all the way to the end of this video and then debated whether or not I should even upload it. That’s how ruined I believe it to be.