“I’m so pumped that you decided to bring me along for your Christmas hijinks,” Nick Young said happily, riding shotgun in Timofey Mozgov’s brand-new Porsche. “Your late-night exploits have a reputation around the league, you know.” Timofey shrugged as he downed half a bottle of vodka. “In Russia, my antics barely arouse attention of police,…
Read MoreMonth: December 2016
Steven Adams 22 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2016)
Let us have a moment of silence for all the people around the globe who don’t even get to have tons of snow to look at while they celebrate Christmas. It is truly a tragedy of monumental proportions for millions upon millions of people to be robbed of a white Christmas by the cruel gods…
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 22 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (12/25/2016)
I hope you all had a wonderful Kristmas, with plenty of gemutlichkeit and bonhomie and draudziga atmosfera. If you don’t happen to celebrate Kristmas, remember that Kristaps Porzingis, our lord and savior, was released upon the Earth on this day, and all NBA fans are obligated to commemorate the occasion of his birth. Kristmas may…
Read MoreDTB’s Official NBA Power Rankings (Week 8) – CHRISTMAS EDITION
This week’s biggest busts: Pistons -7, Heat -5, Trail Blazers -4 This week’s biggest successes: Mavericks +5, Cavaliers +3, Hornets +3, Knicks +3, Hawks +3, Pelicans +3 1. Golden State Warriors (27-4, 3-0 this week) (last week: #1 [4-0] +0) What the Warriors want most under their tree: a center who meets the following requirements:…
Read MoreTristan Thompson 16 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
You’re a Tristan Thompson fan, so I don’t need to tell you this, but I’m going to anyway: all five of Thompson’s dunks in this game sucked except for the last one which could be considered “middling”. Of course, as a fan of Tristan Thompson, you already know this. Your fandom persists, even flourishes, under…
Read MoreSpencer Dinwiddie 13 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
Given that Spencer Dinwiddie (tall) was matched up against Kay Felder (short) for the entire fourth quarter of a blowout Cavs win, I expect more points than this. Dinwiddie is like a solid 6’6″. That’s halfway to seven feet. Meanwhile, Felder is halfway to being a dwarf from Lord of the Rings, except with a…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 25 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
The Pistons allegedly held a players-only meeting where they all plainly stated their disdain for Reggie Jackson’s style of play. Then after the meeting they all went out and told the media that the grievances were aired with civility and that Reggie Jackson was understanding of, and sensitive to, his teammates’ concerns. DownToBuck knows what…
Read MoreShelvin Mack 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
As he showed us last year, Shelvin “The Macksturbator” Mack is actually a decent spot starter in the league. You can put him in and he won’t be a George Hill, but he also won’t be a Raul Neto either. He’ll hit his stupid floaters that every backup point guard relies on, but he can…
Read MoreTrey Lyles 19 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
Times it as appropriate to yell “feed the beast!”: -When you’re playing pickup and you make a jumpshot -When you’re playing Madden and you keep spamming the same pass play to the same receiver until the other dude ragequits -When you make a YouTube comment that immediately gets a bunch of thumb-ups -When you and…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 27 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2016)
Dennis Schröder was walking by himself towards the court when a voice behind him said coldly, “I know what you wearing underneath your jersey.” Turning around, Dennis saw Jusuf Nurkic standing in a shadowy corner of the corridor. “Yeah. My Under Armour,” he retorted, relieved to find that his voice didn’t waver from nervousness. “Real…
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