February 2017 – Page 7

Bobby Portis 19 Points Full Highlights (2/16/2017)

The All-Star break is upon us at last. No Bobby Portis involved, as far as I can tell, but that’s okay. He probably didn’t deserve that replacement spot over Carmelo Anthony, and he probably would have been a Darrell Armstrong-level in the dunk contest. So it’s all good. Bobby Bitches can take a week off…

Otto Porter 25 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/16/2017)

Otto Porter is still leading the league in three-point percentage. Things haven’t changed. Kyle Korver is catching up, and may surpass him by season’s end, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone knows Korver can shoot. That’s what he’s good at. That’s what he’s supposed to do. Alternately, shooting, prior to this year, wasn’t one of the…

Gary Harris 22 Points Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

I am #hypedforgaryharris but I don’t feel like the rest of the world is following suit. They are #hypedfornikolajokic at about ten times the rate of Gary “Hairy Garris” Harris. This hype discrepancy is regrettable but understandable at the same time: Harris’ ceiling is a twenty-point-per-game scorer who doesn’t do a whole lot else. Sort…

Spencer Dinwiddie 19 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

I have a proposal for the lame-os who do commentary for the Brooklyn Nets: whenever Spencer “Din-Dins” Dinwiddie does something cool or exciting, yell “IT’S DINNER TIME!” I can’t believe I have to come out and say this myself when it is such an obvious line to use. I swear. They can come up with…

Khris Middleton 20 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

If the Bucks can’t have Jabari (sources tell me he’s on vacation; I wonder when he’ll be back?) at least the Bucks can have Khris Middleton. And not just any Khris Middleton: they get the “diamond dimes” version of Khris Middleton, the version that dimes teammates non-stop with his unexpectedly solid playmaking ability. Throw that…

Greg Monroe 25 Points Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

Immediately fter going 12-of-15 from the field against the Pistons, Greg Monroe decided to go 12-of-16 from the field against the Nets. The first time made sense: Greg was hyped to be playing against his former team and wanted to inform them that they had made a mistake by prioritizing Drummond over him. This one…

Glenn Robinson III 19 Points Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

Somehow it had escaped my notice that Glenn Robinson III is in the dunk contest this year. Now that I think of it, I don’t know anybody else who’s in it other than Derrick Jones, the D-League’s resident dunk king (where’s D.J. Stephens anyway?). This is probably exactly what the NBA doesn’t want; fans not…

Joe Ingles 18 Points Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

Jinglin’ Joe Ingles AKA “Slow Joe” AKA “Sloppy Joe” AKA “The Big Didgeridoo” had four assists and four steals to go with his eighteen points, but I didn’t feel like showing them. First, four assists is simply not enough. Second, I never show steals on purpose unless it’s Marcus Smart getting eight of them so…

Marcus Smart 21 Points/5 Assists/8 Steals Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

This game is like unlimited ammunition for Celtics fans. Nobody on the internet will ever again be able to say an unkind word about Marcus Smart, least of all me. “Look how much blue-collar HUSTLE is on display here!” says the enthused Celtics fan. “Look how much BOSTON GRIT Maaahcus Smaaht has! His impact on…

Dion Waiters 23 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/15/2017)

Dion Waiters is currently putting up numbers very reminiscent of his second season in the league, back when he was with the Cavs but the Cavs didn’t have LeBron yet and they still had Mike Brown (LMAO). In fact, the Dion of today is averaging the exact same amount of points per game as the…