My campaign to have Wilson Chandler win the 6MOY award is ruined. Utterly ruined. I only had the best intentions when trying to present Chandler as the league’s most valuable player off the bench. Only the best intentions, but my carefully laid plans have been demolished by the selfish actions of haters.
Hater act one: Dumbass-General Mike Malone decided to start Chandler a whole bunch of games this season. I don’t know what the cutoff is before ineligibility is reached, but even if Chandler hasn’t reached it, the voters don’t like to see over 20 starts. That’s the facts, and Malone ignore those facts in the selfish pursuit of “wins”.
Hater act two: The cops pulled me over for speeding in a school zone even though there weren’t even any kids around that I could see. What, is a kid just supposed to pop out of a bush and leap in front of my car? Frickin’ pigs. I told them I was filming them and that I was gonna expose their blatant unconstitutional acts for all my subscribers to see, but they still gave me a ticket. PIGS.
Hater act three: Chandler isn’t even scoring that many points per game after his hot start to the season. It’s like he doesn’t even want to be the Sixth Man of the Year. I guess he’s just content to retire without having earned any accolades. That’s cool, we all have different goals, except it’s NOT cool, DAMMIT. Why does every thing I attempt fail?