I am honestly getting a little tired of making Alan Williams highlights. Note that this is different from being tired of Alan Williams as a player. Alan Williams the player is great. Alan Williams Full Highlights are not so great. All he ever does is make layups and since he’s such a big target in the pick and roll there’s not really any reason for him to do anything other than layups. I still don’t think I’ve seen him shoot a real “jumpshot”, just that floater he sometimes uses.
I’ve also used up all my angles for descriptions about him. He hustles, his nickname is Big Sauce, he’s totally outplaying that bust Alex Len, he’s undersized, I’ve said all those things before. There are no more things left to say about Alan Williams. I would make a joke about how he spurted his Special Sauce all over the Wizards but then I remembered that I already made that joke, and it wasn’t even that funny the first time, it was just juvenile and crass.
It’s a little bit mean-spirited, but I wish Big Sauce would go back to averaging 2/4 instead of whatever godly numbers he’s averaging now. I also wish he would never get another double-double for his whole career. Then I wouldn’t have to make so many of his dang highlight videos.