DownToBuck might have had a lapse of judgement last night. So I was watching the box score for the Wizards-Kings game and I saw that Buddy was having a pretty good first quarter. You know what happens when I see a dude score thirteen points in a quarter, my hype gets the better of me. When he drained another three-pointer at the beginning of the second quarter to show Bradley Beal who the REAL star shooting guard of the NBA is, that’s when I lost it.
Let’s just say that I maxed out a couple of credit cards and blew through my meager savings so I could order a 12-foot-tall 3D-printed statue of Buddy Hield with no clothes on. Not as an erotic piece or anything, but that’s just how all those old Roman statues are. They were naked. The main difference was that this was going to be made out of purple plastic (because it’s the Kings, duh), not carved stone.
Now I’m all groggy and tired this morning due to my hype hangover, and I just checked my email and saw the order confirmation. I honestly don’t remember placing the order but I can do a lot of crazy stuff when I’m hyped. I already tried to cancel it but the place I ordered it from has some kind of automatic process to run their 3D printers and the Hield statue already got shipped.
I don’t even know how I made a CAD file of Buddy Hield’s naked body that they can feed into their printer. I don’t even own any CAD software. It’s so strange. But now I’m going to have a statue of Buddy Hield that doesn’t even fit in my apartment and cost me several thousand dollars AND he didn’t even score any more points after the second quarter. God damn it.