I recently learned why James Johnson looks so gaunt all the time: he’s lost about forty pounds since the start of the season. The James Johnson who I had grown used to, the one with pudge all over his body, the one with a jolly face that often was being stuffed with cupcakes and cheeseburgers, is no longer with us. Instead, we have a vegetable-eating, kale-smoothie-drinking basketball machine who looks like a strung-out hobo and has the beard to match. He still sort of looks like a mini LeBron, but I think the last time LeBron was this skinny, he was still in high school receiving under-the-table payments from Brian Windhorst.
I can easily see Johnson ballooning back up once he gets paid this off-season, by the Heat or some other team. It’s a lot of work keeping your diet in order and exercising. Most Americans aren’t capable of it. Even when ball is life and you get tons of cardio, you still have to cut out all the tasty foods from your routine, and that’s just a non-starter for many basketball players. Personally, if I had to give up chicken tenders, burgers, and pizza, I would lose all will to make highlights or even continue living.
Did you catch the joke I just made? It was a funny one! I haven’t had the will to live for a long time now. Haha! Ha! Ha.