Listening to a Hawks-Wizards game commentated by the 76ers’ Mark Zumoff and the Nets’ Mike Fratello is basically the worst thing for my sanity ever. If it’s not the 76ers, I don’t want to hear Zumoff. I just don’t. He can say “turns garbage into gold” all he wants when Joel Embiid and Dario Saric are involved, but he is not allowed to say that or any of his other catchphrases when it’s Dwight Howard and Marcin Gortat. They really shouldn’t even be allowed to talk, because I have associations in my mind of which commentators go with which teams, and those associations are all messed up now.
I don’t even know who the third dude on the telecast was, and I don’t care, because it was probably Chris Webber or someone else who sucks.
Dënniß “Sexy Nubian Princess” ßchrööder had a decent-ish game tonight, but you could tell that all Zumoff wanted to do was talk about how good Ersan Ilyasova had been for Philly. He did say some stuff about ßchrööder, but his heart wasn’t in it. And who can blame him? He doesn’t give even one half of a hoot about the Atlanta Hawks. Give me Dominique Wilkins next time the Hawks are on NBATV, which might not be too many times because they’re about to get swept.