BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT! BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT! BEN SIMMONS HAS MADE A JUMPSHOT!
ALERT ALERT ALERT
THIS IS NOT A TEST THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT
If I had an onomatopoeia for a klaxon noise, I would put it here as well. Because I have a special klaxon next to my highlight station which I turn on whenever I issue an alert. The wailing siren noise is accompanied by flashing red lights and it really makes me feel like something important is happening.
In this case, the feeling of importance is justified, because Ben Simmons’ entire game opens up a whole lot more if he wields a respectable jumpshot in his offensive arsenal. In the eyes of Ben Simmons fans everywhere, there is little more important than the addition of this weapon to Simmons’ game. That is my rationale for issuing a “BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT”.
I’m actually going to turn off the siren now because it’s hurting my ears and my cat doesn’t seem to be enjoying it, but the alert will be in effect for the next two hours if you want to run your own siren from home.