I have a new theory on how Zach Randolph can continue to be successful even in his advanced age and with his non-existent athleticism. Brace yourselves. This is going to rock the basketball world.
Nobody can guard Zach Randolph because he’s so fat that they just roll off him. Like literally roll off him. They try to body him up but just slide off because there’s no solid surface to attach to. There’s just blubber and roundness and probably a whole lotta sweat.
Part two of the theory is that defenders are reluctant to play defense against him because they feel bad for his fatness. So, with these two factors combined, Z-Bo should be unstoppable, right? My new theory posits that Zach Randolph is not able to be stopped in any way, shape, or form. And when you watch the games you can see this is true. So the only reason Randolph doesn’t score fifty a game is because he gets tired. The fatness has a downside.
Unrelated question: how did the nickname “Z-Bo” get invented? It’s not like his name has a B in it anywhere. This is more confusing to me than the incomprehensible structure of the EuroLeague.