Now that Greg Monroe is gone forever and Thon Maker is trash forever (or at least the rest of this season probably), John “Hell’s Hensman” Henson will be the de facto starting center for the Bucks. Never mind that he’s got the same muscle mass that he had when he was a sophomore in high…
Read MoreMonth: November 2017
Kent Bazemore 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
When I saw that Kent “Bazed God” Bazemore had 22 points and seven assists last night, my heart dropped like a stone. 22 points I can live with, I’ll survive that, but add seven assists on top of that and all of a sudden I run the real risk of falling into a boredom-induced coma…
Read MoreJordan Clarkson 25 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
Going by per 36 stats, which are the best stats ever and I’m super thankful to whoever invented the concept, Jordan “Half Filipino And Don’t You Forget It” Clarkson is a top ten scorer in the league. And, unlike past seasons where he would put up nice-looking scoring numbers on middling efficiency, Clarkson has been…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 28 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
Remember when the Knicks didn’t even want Tim Hardaway Jr. so they traded him for Jerian Grant (LOL [lots of laughs])? Now Jerian Grant is being booty in Chicago and the Knicks overpaid just to get Hardaway Jr. back on the team instead of just keeping him through his rookie contract and getting cheap production…
Read MoreRobert Covington Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
Looking at the list the highest-scoring games in Robert Covington’s career is making me sad. All I wanted to do was confirm that 31 is indeed his career-high in points. I didn’t sign up for the part where Covington’s eight next-highest games all resulted in losses for his team. Basketball-reference should provide like a spoiler…
Read MoreE’Twaun Moore Career High 24 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
This is now the fourth time E’Twaun Moore has scored 24 points, his career high. No one cared the other three times he did it, so I can be safe in assuming that no one cares now. Sometimes I doubt my subscribers’ dedication to the cause of glorifying role-players. I enjoy Moore’s game. Honestly, and…
Read MoreTyreke Evans 27 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
I shouldn’t have to say this, but I know I have to. If anyone comments anything to the effect of “The occasion when you ejaculate but she continues performing fellatio”, referencing the thumbnail image for this Tyreke Evans highlight video, they will be met with a permanent ban from the entire Internet. I’ve been talking…
Read MoreDillon Brooks 19 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
If the Memphis Grizzlies had won this game and had Dillon Brooks been the reason for that win, I would’ve been majorly peeved. Peeved to the greatest extent. Brooks is a good rookie, nice all-around player, but if he had been the preeminent factor in a win over Milwaukee, well, that would suck because he’s…
Read MoreBen Simmons 22 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
This is why the NCAA banned dunking. Right here. Just watch this video and try to tell me that you don’t feel disgust burning in the pit of your stomach. Such barbarity I have never before seen on an NBA court. Ben Simmons did receive one technical for hanging on the rim. That was great,…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 24 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
More buckets for Donovan Mitchell. This man is a bucket machine. Does he ever get good looks? It doesn’t seem like it. Every bucket is a work of supreme determination on his part. That’s why his percentages suck, and that’s also why percentages aren’t everything. Some of us watch the games. But most of us…
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