Who needs James Harden when you have Gerald Green? Until Harden carves the Rockets’ “R” into his beard and can do an alley-oop windmill dunk, I’m giving the edge to Green. I’m getting some serious Michael-Beasley-Getting-Rescued-From-China-By-The-Rockets vibes right now. It’s almost the same situation; unwanted scoring-only player departs from the league because they can’t get…
Read MoreDay: January 3, 2018
Kent Bazemore 20 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
Just like I’ve been punishing inefficient players by denying them a spot on my channel when they have a high-scoring, low-efficiency game, I should also start rewarding players who put up mediocre scoring totals on exceptional efficiency. First in line to get a highlight video under my new, more egalitarean system: Kent “Bazed God” Bazemore,…
Read MoreC.J. Williams 18 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2017)
When I look at C.J. Williams I get this instinctual feeling that he’s in his mid-thirties. I think it’s just my brain has the knowledge that he’s an “old” rookie and tries to tell me that “old rookie” means “old player”. I spent this entire video thinking “Man, this guy scores good and moves pretty…
Read MoreDe’Aaron Fox 17 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2017)
I would love it if the Kings can, for once in their miserable history, successfully develop a rookie or set of rookies while also transforming themselves into a winning team. De’Aaron Fox has negative win shares right now and isn’t really helping the Kings in the win column by being a bottom-five starting point guard,…
Read MoreWayne Selden 13 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2017)
This thirteen-point outburst (one could even say EXPLOSION) from Wayne Selden is marred by a gigantic asterisk. The video title should really be “Wayne Selden 13 Points* Full Highlights”. Why the asterisk, you ask? Because Wayne Selden scored two of his points by hustling after a missed free-throw with fifteen seconds left and the Grizzlies…
Read MoreMilos Teodosic 13 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
I want to apologize to the people of Serbia. There have been previous occasions where I should have made a highlight video for Milos Teodosic, yet I did not. I have failed you, Serbs. In my penance, I will provide the full, shameful list of ignored highlight videos: December 16, 2017: 13 points, 5 assists…
Read MoreNicolas Batum 21 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
This video is all jumpers. All of it. No LAMEups. Just nothing but jumpers. You like jumpers, don’t you? Of course you do. Every NBA fan does. So watch this video, dumbass. Okay? Trust me on this one. It’s good. You’ll like it. Batum sucks now, which is too bad because the Hornets are paying…
Read MoreZach Randolph 24 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
Dwight Howard status: totally devastated and mangled at the hands of one Zachary Z-Bo Jailblazer Krispy Kreme Hernandez Moonface Randolph, but still smiling his goofy-ass grin. It’s true: Randolph owned Dwight on the offensive end. Such a thing should not be possible in the year of our lord 2018, but here we are. He took…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 21 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
The three-pointer by Ersan Ilyasova at 1:00 of this vid might be the wettest three of the season so far. Scratch that. It IS the wettest three of the season so far. A perfectly perfect rainbow, dropping directly into rim and volcanoing the net. If that is not enough to get you to watch this…
Read MoreJohnny O’Bryant 16 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Johnny “Irish Kobe” O’Bryant. In a prior video, I foolishly re-appropriated his well-earned nickname, furnishing it instead on the unworthy Pat Connaughton. I figured, hey, Johnny isn’t using it, so why not give it to someone who could do something with it? Boobery. Utter boobery…
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