Attention potential lottery picks: do not return for another year of college if people think you might go in the top ten. Especially do not do so if you know you are going to get worse instead of better during that extra year. It’s too late for Ivan Rabb, but maybe that advice will reach…
Read MoreDay: January 18, 2018
Mason Plumlee 16 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
This is the first Plumlee video of any type I’ve made this season, and let me tell you: it sucks. I didn’t have high hopes for it, but even that minimal bar set by those meager hopes was not cleared. Not even close. I had to do it, though. A quick glance through the archives…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 18 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
This is the problem with showing blocks. Sometimes they’re really sick, and then people get mad if you DON’T show them. Sometimes they’re barely there and then the team getting “blocked” scores right away so it ruins the flow of the video. And sometimes they get miscredited to another player and the commentators get all…
Read MoreDillon Brooks 17 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Dillon Brooks is the current leader of the SRRWIPMAE award, or the Second-Round Rookie Who Is Producing Most Above Expectations award. Out of all the second-round rookies this year, he is the only to have played 1000 minutes. Jordan Bell might be better impact-wise, but he doesn’t count, because all he has to do is…
Read MoreJoe Harris 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Joe “Wonderbread” Harris’ ability to run off screens and shoot threes is one of the best in the league. No one has noticed and if they have they don’t really care, but I think it’s cool. He’s like a white Wayne Ellington. Now seems like a good time to re-emphasize my point that Harris could…
Read MoreC.J. Miles 21 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I was doing some more research on C.J. Miles the Instagram model, not C.J. Miles the Toronto Raptor because he’s not nearly as pretty as she is, he basically looks like a goblin with several congenital birth defects compared to her for real, and I got to thinking about stuff. First thing I thought was…
Read MoreJarell Martin 17 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Jarell Martin is a throwback to a (better????) different time of the NBA, when power forwards didn’t have to stretch the floor or handle the ball, when all they had to do was be beefy and go after rebounds like it was their baby falling out of a second-story window. Sure, Martin shoots some jumpers…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 20 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I should’ve just stopped this video after the first quarter. Enes Kanter had 14 points in that period, was pretty much dominating all the weak little baby-men that were tasked with guarding his brute Turkish strength, and then he hit one more shot after that and none more in the second half. A Knicks fan…
Read MoreMike Scott 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Here’s the deal: expert NBA watchers will note the existence of certain “advanced” stats, which are like regular stats but extremely esoteric and nearly impossible to understand. One of these “advanced” stats is something called “effective field goal percentage”, which, as far as I can discern, bears a resemblance to regular field goal percentage (which…
Read MoreSteven Adams 21 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I’m going to list the statlines of the Thunder starters and you tell me who you think is the real MVP of the team and who is overrated bum trash: -Paul “Lies to the People of Oklahoma About Liking it There” George: 13 points, 5 of 14 shooting. -Russell “Statpadsell Chuckbrook” Westbrook: 19 points, 8…
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