The Pelicans’ commentators didn’t mention it during this game that I heard, but they’ve mentioned it in the past: Darius Miller’s shot is flat AF. Like Chandler Parsons levels of flat. So flat that I wonder how those line drives ever go into the rim. Is that the shot he dominated Germany with, leading his…
Read MoreDay: January 18, 2018
John Collins 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
How do real-life Southerners feel about John Collins’ nickname of “John the Baptist”? On one hand, it’s a hella rad nickname because it references Collins’ proclivity for putting dudes on posters with his wiry, high-flying whamjams. One the other hand, it trivializes an important figure of Christianity, sort of an implicit “Christianity’s not that important…
Read MoreMichael Kidd-Gilchrist 21 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I’ve come up with a new definition for the word “bust”, one that we can all agree on: if you are a top-five pick but you don’t score thirty points in a single game at any point in your career, you are a bust, UNLESS you do one of the following things: -Average 9 assists…
Read MoreMilos Teodosic 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Last night was the highly-anticpated meeting between the old school of Serbian basketball, Milos Teodosic, and the new school of Serbian basketball, Nikola Jokic. Who came out ahead in this matchup? Through my analytical analysis of factual facts, I will determine who the victor was in this Serb Showdown. POINTS: Jokic had 18 points. Teodosic…
Read MoreRodney Hood 25 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Hypothetical question: is Rodney Hood a bad enough basketball player where Jazz fans are allowed to boo him for missing shots? This is entirely hypothetical. Even if he was the worst basketball player in the world and bricked every shot he took, there’s no way Jazz fans would be so classless as to boo a…
Read MoreNikola Mirotic 24 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I keep hearing trade rumors about Nikola Mirotic going to the Jazz. If you’re reading this in the future where he’s already been traded to the Jazz, welcome! I hope Three-Kola does well away from the punches of Bobby Portis. If you’re reading this in the future where we land on Mars only to find…
Read MoreKhris Middleton 25 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
The midrange iso game of Khris “Khobe” Middleton is the kind of thing that should piss any reasonable basketball fan off. Ball movement isn’t as “in” as it was a few years ago, but it’s still the preferred style of play around the league, and here we have Khobe, getting the ball somewhere in the…
Read MoreWillie Cauley-Stein 26 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Kings games are great in theory. Willie Cauley-Stein, De’Aaron Fox, Bogdan Bogdanvoic, and more! What could be better than watching all three of those dudes on the same team ball out night in and night out? That’s the problem with highlights. I don’t, and you don’t, have to watch all the bad parts of their…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 34 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I thought I would be granted a respite after Donovan Mitchell put up enough 20-point games to surpass rookie Karl Malone in that category for the Jazz. I thought wrong. Not only are they still mentioning how many 20-pointers he has, but they’ve started talking about how many 30-point games he needs to be the…
Read MoreBogdan Bogdanovic 25 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
NBA players should never finish a game shooting 100 percent from three on more than 2 or 3 attempts. Never ever. When a player is hot like that, it is both the team’s responsibility to get him more shots and the player’s responsibility to chuck the ball from deep every time he touches it until…
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