Jarell Martin might be the player on the Grizzlies about whom people care the least. Actually, that’s probably not true now that I really take a look at their roster instead of just trying to recall their roster from memory, because they have some seriously marginal players on that team who people might not have…
Read MoreMonth: March 2018
Josh Jackson 19 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
“DEE TEE BEEEE!” you whine. “Josh Jackson had twenty points two games ago and you ignored it! WAAH WAAH WAAH!” That’s what you sound like right now, tears and all. I’m fully aware that, two games ago, Josh Jackson scored twenty points, which is one more point than he scored here. Do you think I…
Read MoreKris Dunn 18 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
It seems like the dream of the collective Bulls fanbase has come true: Jerian Grant has been pushed almost completely out of the rotation. With the emergence of Kris Dunn, the return of Zach LaVine, the somehow not-total-garbage play of Cameron Payne (Payne, Lauvergne, and Morrow for McDermott and Gibson was a really awful trade…
Read MoreC.J. Miles 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
As you might remember, my expeditious foray into the Instagram arena was short-lived because my mom somehow found out about my Instagram page before anybody else. All I wanted to do was make a little extra money on the side by showing off my heinie in a thong. The whole account is deleted now (how…
Read MoreD.J. Augustin 20 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
You know what really gets my goat? Other than the Bucks giving up on Rashad Vaughn? When so-called NBA fans spell player’s names wrong on a consistent basis. I’m like, it’s not “Augustine” you disgusting simpleton. Are you too stupid to see his name in print and commit the spelling to memory? He’s been in…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 26 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
Interesting note: in the month of February, Donovan Mitchell only shot above 50% from the field one time, and that was the first game of the month where he dropped forty points. He followed that up by scoring two whole points in his next game (does he even want to average 20 PPG?), and the…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 27 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
Dënniß ßchrööder had some bad games in the month of February, including 2-of-16, 3-of-12, and 4-of-13 shooting performances. If he wants to average twenty points per game and get his name listed among all the greats that accomplished the same feat, he’ll have to ramp up his production for the last month of the season,…
Read MoreReggie Bullock 21 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
Reggie “Ock and Bull Torture” Bullock took 21 shots to get his 21 points tonight. If that seems like a lot to you, it’s because that is a lot, like, way way way too many shots for someone like Bullock to be taking. He’s actually pretty decent this year, don’t get me wrong, but when…
Read MoreBobby Portis 22 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
I think Bobby Portis cursed himself forever when he declared that he was going to score 40 (while sitting at 38), then failing to do so. Such hubris does not go unpunished by the karmic bodies that govern the mysterious machinations of the universe. I know this from first hand experience. I once said to…
Read MoreDirk Nowitzki 18 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/2/2018)
Dirk Nowitzki is having the best three-point shooting season of his career. If that tidbit was too obscure for you, here’s another one: he’s really old. Those two facts are an unusual combo in the NBA. There was a point in his career, right around when I really started caring about the NBA, that he…
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