After the last update on my walking, talking, 3D-printed purple naked Buddy Hield statue, I realized that I didn’t go into as much depth into our zoo trip as I probably should have. It’s a fun story. So here it is.
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From our night walks I figured out that Buddy was really into animals for some reason. I don’t what his sense of touch is like but it must be really intense because he loves petting Japurri and even if there’s a dead squirrel on the road he’ll want to go over to pet its fur. Also, animals have very unpredictable behavior, unlike me. I mostly sit around on the computer all day and I don’t make many sudden movements so I’m not that exciting to be around.
So I decided we could go to the zoo. Not during the day, of course, because Buddy would draw a lot of undue attention on himself given that he’s twice as tall as a normal human and he’s a sentient plastic figurine. Instead, I bundled him up into my car at two in the morning and we did the thirty minute drive to the zoo.
I felt bad because Buddy’s obviously uncomfortable when he’s crammed into the backseat/trunk of my car, but he was so excited about seeing all the animals that I don’t think he minded all that much.
When we got to the zoo we didn’t even try the front entrance because it was locked for sure plus there’s probably security cameras pointed at it. There’s a fence around the whole zoo area but it’s not that tall in most places, so we just climbed over that. I got Buddy to pick me up and drop me over the fence even though I could have climbed it myself. He likes to feel helpful. He’s the best.
I hadn’t been to the zoo since I was a kid and everything looked all different in the moonlight. I had a flashlight but I didn’t want to use it too much in case there was some kind of security patrol going on. All the indoor exhibits like the monkey house and the aviary had their doors locked, but we could still see in where the giraffe was sleeping and stuff. Buddy was about to climb in with the giraffe until I told him not too. A giraffe or a gorilla or a polar bear is about the only thing that could kick Buddy’s ass. No human stands a chance against him. I know that because he killed a guy with no problem at all.
Since I knew that Buddy wanted to interact with the animals we set off to find the petting zoo. They have different kinds of animals there that you can touch and feed, I just didn’t know if they would still be outside or not. I didn’t want Buddy to leave the zoo disappointed.
Luckily, when we got the place with the goats, the goats were outside sleeping I guess because it was a nice night, not raining or anything. Buddy was so excited. I told him to wait there while I went to the goat food dispenser and paid a dollar in quarters to get two little cups full of tasty goat pellets. By now the goats had woken up from the sound we were making and had all come over to the fence because they know that humans usually have food with them. They were bleating and baaing and basically begging for food.
Buddy was having the time of his life. He stepped easily over the kid-sized fence and was in there with the goats, petting them and giggling while they greedily ate pellets out of his hand. Even when he was out of food, the goats thought he might have some more, so they crawled all over him while he lay down in the dirt and laughed. They were licking his hand and making goat noises. I had my flashlight on the bright setting so Buddy could see all the goats. He was so happy and I was happy too seeing him so excited about the goats.
Then I saw somebody’s flashlight in the distance that wasn’t mine and heard a faint “hey!”. We had been found. Buddy knew what the plan was if we got discovered, so he jumped out of the goat pen (first petting the goats one more time) and started running back towards where my car was. He has a good sense of direction. His legs are so long that he runs way faster than me, so by the time I got to the fence he was waiting for me. This time, Buddy just picked me up and kind of threw me over the fence since he knew we were maybe being pursued. I landed funny on my shoulder but I was fine, so we hopped in the car and burned rubber getting out of the parking lot.
Buddy was laughing and gibbering since he was so excited about the goats, but I had to tell him that we probably wouldn’t go to the zoo again for a while. I think he understood because he got all quiet. Then he crawled over towards the front seat and patted my shoulder gently with his big purple plastic hand, so he knew that it was tough on me to tell him those sad things. His ability to comprehend and maybe even feel humanlike emotions is seriously crazy for something that came out of a 3D-printer.
He’s my best friend.