Jeff Teague 27 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (2/13/2019)

It looks like, for the time being, Jerryd Bayless is done ruining my life. His line in this game: 0 points (that’s what happens when you don’t take a shot) and 1 assist in 11 minutes. At least one of my prayers to all the various deities I was praying to was answered, if not multiple prayers.

But there is a real reason why his minutes are going back down, and it’s not a good one: it’s because Jeff Teague has returned, ready to also ruin my life but in ways I can’t even frickin’ imagine, and in a far greater quantity. I truly believe that I have been cursed to make highlights of cruddy Timberwolves point guards for all eternity, and I don’t know why it had to be me to receive the curse, because it’s not even my fault that they traded Ricky Rubio.

The problem with Teague that makes him worse for me than Bayless is that you just knew that, given enough time, Bayless was going to regress back into the potato that he resembles. Not so with Teague. He’s been doing this kind of thing, consistently, for years. Maybe not 27 and 12, exactly, but he’s prone to put up monster games from time to time. Especially in Minnesota, where the scorekeepers have decided that every single bucket needs a corresponding assist, inflating the totals for everybody.

Even ESPN was very muted with their praise of Teague tonight. They know, as I do, that he doesn’t draw the eyeballs, but here he was, going head to head with James Harden (not on defense, thanks Josh Okogie for really stepping up there) and coming out ahead. He even did Harden’s patented step-back travel three-pointer, and it might have been the coolest thing I’ve ever seen him do. So props to him for that, as if that even begins to undo all the anguish he has caused and will continue to cause me.

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