Cedi “Osric Tentacles” Osman has been playing a bit better since his disastrous November and dismal December. He’s still not anywhere near being an adequate replacement for LeBron James (who is recently re-earning his nickname of “NoDefense Suckballs” [or LeBroken-Jumper Flame-Out]), but if you squint really hard, you can kinda see that Osman has turned into LeBron 0.2.
Are you not seeing it? You have to squint harder. Squint so hard that your eyes are actually fully closed, and then keep them closed for, like, thirty minutes. You’ll start seeing weird patterns and colors behind your eyelids. Somewhere in those strange visual anomalies concocted by a brain deprived of sensory input, you’ll see a vision of Cedi Osman as LeBron James 0.2.
If that still doesn’t work, just pop some tabs of LSD (is that the right terminology) and you’ll see a lot of cool things, including Osman being an ultra-lite version of LeBron minus the skin pigmentation. Actually, don’t. This is a kid-friendly channel. Don’t do drugs. Drugs are bad.