February might be a shorter month than most but that doesn’t mean that there’s a shortage of sick whamjams to cram into this month’s dunkilation. Below you can find some commentary on the most notable/entertaining/disrespectful/jammerific dunks this month.
0:03 – I think this is what the kids call “The People’s Elbow.”
0:07 – I’m experimenting with cyberpunk glitch effects on my videos to reach a new audience. Don’t you have an urge to get into phone phreaking now?
0:15 – Who the heck is Melvin Frazier Jr.? A windmill dunk is a good first impression to make, I’ll say that much.
0:19 – Usually the Kings commentators get excited for things like this. Their sad reaction is making me sad by association.
0:23 – “Coming Hot and High” could be a weed reference, or a sex reference, but it is definitely not a basketball reference.
0:45 – I don’t know what “say it with your chest” means. Tobes didn’t “say” anything at all, as far as I could tell. These commentators, in their quest to deliver original commentary, are getting too obscure for my liking.
1:27 – Boomed him.
1:53 – The Cavaliers’ feed was used here because the Wizards’ feed was interviewing somebody about heart health; the game was being shown in an inset. That interview would only be appropriate if it was Jeff Green dunking it.
2:00 – It was a good dunk, but let’s not throw around words like “memorable”.
2:06 – There’s “say it with your chest” again. I still don’t know what it means but it has to mean something because this guy has said it twice now.
2:23 – This dunk is a 1/10 on the “power” rating scale, but is 10/10 on the “switching hands” rating scale (a rating scale which is criminally underused).
2:31 – No, I’m pretty sure that’s Robin Lopez. Is Stacey King turning into Marv Albert (minus the “wearing women’s underwear” thing)?
3:08 – Nurkic totally dunked on four dudes at once here. Only DeMarre Carroll was smart enough to stay out of the way.
3:19 – More exciting than any of Collins’ dunk contest dunks. The dunk contest should have defenders in it because it’s awesome when somebody gets put on a poster.
3:46 – “UNNNHH”
3:51 – “UNNNNHHHH!”
3:58 – At the very tail-end of the last replay, you can see Ivan Rabb think to himself “can I go home now?”
4:15 – There is nothing to say about this commentary. It speaks for itself.
4:34 – I’m totally obsessed with the concept of revenge games, but how about REVENGE DUNKS? This is a new concept for me and it’s getting me a little bit…”excited”.
4:45 – How did Luol Deng get here? There should be an age limit on these things unless your name rhymes with “Wince Farter”. Also, upon further review, there was no foul here, Mr. Homer Commentator.
5:23 – I would honestly give this one just an 8/10. It definitely does not exceed the limits of the ten-point scale.
5:30 – Bembry gets bonus points for getting smacked in the face right at the end.
5:49 – Okay, this one is legitimately sick. I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody reach that far back to catch a lob with two hands. Unfortunately, I can’t rank it any higher because there was nobody in the way.
5:56 – Somebody dial(lo) 911! Ha. Haha. I crack myself up.
6:17 – There’s at least one dunk in every dunkilation where the dunker presents his pork sausage to the defender for their scrutiny. It even looks like Bledsoe is gesturing towards his special place as he hangs on the rim. Also, why am I obsessed with guys getting nuts rubbed on them?
7:10 – ACK-SHOO-UH-LEE, you don’t “drop” jackhammers.
7:17 – Did the commentator just imply that Mason Plumlee is easier to dunk on than Nikola Jokic? Is that because Jokic never plays defense well enough to be in a position where he gets dunked on?
7:26 – I SWEAR I didn’t mean to have Mason Plumlee be on the receiving end of three dunks in a row. It just happened that way. What a spooky coincidence. Maybe my computer is possessed by the ghost of somebody who really hates that dude.
7:35 – This dunk is made more impressive by the fact that the ball caught a bunch of Hernangomez’s armpit sweat on the way up, thus becoming slippery and difficult to grasp.
7:45 – Is this the best Wallace dunk in history by somebody other than Gerald Wallace? I’m getting shades of Crash vs. Bostjan Nachbar here.
8:06 – The slow speed at which this dunk happened somehow makes it more brutal. Like watching a semi truck smash into a storefront at fifteen miles per hour.
8:14 – Textbook “straddle” dunk.
8:24 – Ben Simmons looks like he’s seriously considering just sitting with the cameramen for the rest of the game.
8:35 – Who even cares about concussion protocol? Go out there and hit your free throw, and if you don’t puke while doing it, you’re fine!
9:06 – Garrett Temple giving free pony rides out here.
9:17 – More free pony rides, courtesy of the Knicks’ bench.
9:27 – If you look closely, you can see Jarrett Allen’s fro is only being held on by his headband. Otherwise, it has completely detached from his head.