I am making a decent amount of money through my new Patreon page ( https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck – donating even one dollar a month will fill my cold heart with an emotion that roughly resembles happiness), but it’s still not enough to fund my lavish lifestyle of Hot Pockets, PopTarts, and extremely high-end computer equipment to facilitate my cutting-edge highlight-creation techniques. That’s why I’m partnering with UPS to bring targeted advertisements to my videos.
That’s right. The marketing profile that Google has built of you based off your internet searches and sold to the highest bidder is now in the hands of both myself and UPS (the United Parcel Service). We are using your profile to serve you targeted thumbnail images: if you have been deemed to be a person who might be interested in UPS products or services, you will see a video thumbnail that depicts Rodions Kurucs standing next to a UPS logo. If you aren’t in the target demographic for UPS, you will see a regular thumbnail of just Rodions Kurucs with no corporate logos of any sort.
It’s against the terms of my contract to disclose how much UPS is paying me to show their logo in my thumbnails, but let’s just say that I’ll now be able to afford Hot Pockets even when they’re not on sale.
I’m also contractually obligated to point out that Kurucs himself is making no endorsement of UPS products or services. They tried to get me to make the thumbnail of all my videos just be a big UPS logo but I had to push back on that, so this is the compromise. Kurucs seems like a Fedex guy anyway.