Elfrid “Dirfle” Payton is accustomed to being on losing teams, so my guess is that he’s not too bummed that the Pelicans lost this one in basically the dumbest way possible: Alvin Gentry getting a technical foul called himself (due to trying to call a non-existent timeout during an inbound) with one second left in…
Read MoreDay: March 17, 2019
Nikola Jokic 26 Points/5 Assists/1 Ejection Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
It’s a good thing that Nikola Jokic’s ejection at the hands of Tony Brothers didn’t result in a Nuggets loss, or Brothers might have any and all US-based members of the Serbian Mafia after him. I actually don’t have any evidence that the Serbian Mafia really exists, but that’s exactly what I’d expect when it…
Read MoreCedi Osman 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
OFFICIAL DTB ANNOUNCEMENT: Tonight DTB decided to treat himself to a fast food feast consisting of a two-thirds pound bacon cheeseburger, an order of cheddar bacon fries, and a small coca-cola. It was all very tasty while it was being consumed. Greasy, but tasty. Unfortunately, the large volume of food is having detrimental effects on…
Read MoreCollin Sexton 28 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
Collin “Collinoscopy” Sexton has now had five straight games that have been well over the twenty-point mark. Not only that, but he seems to have taken the mantle of “number one scoring option” away from Jordan Clarkson and is doing his best to keep Kevin Love from immediately taking that mantle and wearing it himself….
Read MoreTrae Young 26 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
Early in the season, Trae Young was extremely fond of taking extra-deep three-pointers. They never went in, but he kept shooting them anyway, and it made for a cool highlight when one of them finally did find the bottom of the net, so this unwise tendency of his was tolerated. Lately, I haven’t been noticing…
Read MoreChandler Parsons 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
Over his entire stint with the Grizzlies, Chandler Parsons has been the focus of much consternation. Both the quality of his play (which has ranged from “decent” to “below G-League level”) and his contract (which has steadily rated as a 10/10 on the albatross scale) are sore points for Grizzlies fans. I don’t blame Parsons…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 22 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
It took me a while to figure out what the Memphis commentators were saying after Jonas Valanciunas’s numerous dunks in this game. Sounded like “yaga” to me, that wasn’t the hard part. I figured they weren’t just saying nonsense syllables, so my first guess was that they were saying something in Lithuanian. I tried a…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 32 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2019)
“Yo Kelly, what’s up with all the iPhones pointed-” “CUT! CUT!” Kelly yelled in exasperation, interrupting his monologue to glare at Tyler Johnson, who had just walked into his impromptu video production studio that was set up in the bathroom of the visitor’s locker room. “You absolute idiot. Can you not see that I’m in…
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