March 2019 – Page 5

De’Aaron Fox 25 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

If the Sacramento Kings aren’t taking advantage of De’Aaron Fox’s last name by creating and selling a Kings-branded, purple-colored fox plushie with a firework of black hair on its head, I’m going to be over here SMHing my head because of their lack of business sense. If there’s one rule in marketing, it’s that human…

Buddy Hield 27 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

Today I overcame my fear and plugged in the custom cryptocurrency mining hardware that Buddy made for me. Buddy is my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple plastic statue of Buddy Hield and he’s basically a genius the likes of which could go toe-to-toe intellectually with any of the greatest thinkers of our time. One of the…

Mitchell Robinson 19 Points/21 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

I know that Mitchell “Makin’ You Into His Mitch” Robinson gets a lot of attention for his blocked shots, but I just had a sudden epiphany: his dunks are equally as sick as, if not SICKER THAN, his blocks. I had multiple involuntary reactions while making this video, ranging from gasps of surprise, to utterances…

Pascal Siakam 31 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

Is Pascal Siakam currently being held down by Kawhi Leonard? Let’s take a look at the facts: -Siakam scores seventeen PPG more in games where Leonard doesn’t play -Leonard can be seen trying to play defense on Siakam when they share the court -Siakam shoots 8% from the field on possessions where Leonard comes within…

Boban Marjanovic 16 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

Boban Marjanovic’s ascent into the king of NBA “meme” players has taken a sharp upswing with the addition of a three-point shot, the “memiest” shot-type in the league for players of his type. That type being “ridiculously huge Euro”. He was already one of the most ironically (and earnestly, by some sickos) loved players in…

Christian Wood Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

Okay, so after Christian Wood scored a career-high 23 points last game, I was a little bit peeved with the Bucks’ front office, but I wasn’t, like, steaming mad or anything. It could have been a fluke. It was just one game, after all. A lot of scrubs manage to have one good game even…

Wayne Ellington 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/28/2019)

I still can’t even begin to understand the thought process behind the Heat blatantly underutilizing and then trading (for scraps [Ryan Anderson]) Wayne Ellington. Don’t even get me started on the Suns then waiving him. At least that kind of makes sense, since they are tanking and don’t want a good player like Ellington messing…

Joe Ingles 11 Points/14 Assists Full Highlights (3/27/2019)

I think I’d heard this stat before, but since the ESPN commentators repeated it, I’ll re-repeat it for you: it’s been 11 years since the last regular-season triple-double by a Jazzman, and the last one to do it was… Carlos Boozer! If you’re thinking “I swear Ricky Rubio got one for the Jazz”, you’re right,…

Jerami Grant 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/27/2019)

OFFICIAL DTB DISCLAIMER: There are no dunks in this video. In a past life, the only thing Jerami Grant was good for was a couple highlight-reel dunks per week. The promise of major dunkage is still, for me and my ever-expanding NBA highlights empire, one of the main things that attracts me to him and…

Derrick Favors 20 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2019)

Attention all haters who were hating on the concept of Derrick Favors being on the same team as Rudy Gobert despite neither of them being a jumpshooter: you can cease your hating at once becasue the Jazz have won eight of the last nine, conclusively proving that a team constructed with two non-shooting bigs can…