The NCAA men’s basketball championship, the culmination of March Madness, an event which grips the nation’s attention for an entire month, is going on right now. They’re playing basketball right now. However, I refuse on principle to watch it, instead preferring to continue making highlight videos of NBA games. Why, you ask?
Because college basketball sucks. And that’s all there is to it.
I’m not going to go so far as to make insinuations against the intelligence of those people who are fond of college basketball, some of whom perhaps even prefer it over the professional game. I don’t agree with those people, but they’re welcome to enjoy college basketball even if I personally don’t enjoy it. I’m not the enjoyment police here. If watching unskilled college students waste the entire 35-second shot clock on pointless perimeter passes is enjoyable to you, then go ahead and enjoy it.
While you’re doing that, I’ll be over here enjoying my immaculately-edited Kevon Looney highlights. He scored fourteen points! He dunked it! He hit jumpshots! If you dropped Looney in the championship game right now he would put up a 30/15 line. Nobody would be able to stop him, and they definitely wouldn’t be able to avoid fouling him. He would probably hit a bunch of three-pointers because of the shortened college line, too. You could pair him with, like, Shane Larkin or something and create an unstoppable pick-and-role threat that even the alleged “fundamental defenders” of the college game wouldn’t be able to comprehend.