Fred VanVleet 21 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (5/23/2019)

Contrary to your expectations, your old pal Dee Tee Bee is not even mad right now. In fact, it may surprise you how incredibly not mad I really am. Normally, a certain (former) scrublord named Fred VanVleet hitting 7 of 9 from deep in a pivotal game 5 win would cause much consternation for certain world-renowned Bucks-themed highlight compiler. Anger, however, doesn’t exist as a concept in my existence any longer besides as a vague theoretical curiosity. I have transcended to a new sphere of existence, the sphere were negative emotions like anger, sadness, and jealousy (as well as all positive emotions) have been replaced with a pleasing gray haze of neutrality.

Some people may call that “depression”. Those people misunderstand, or are jealous of the fact that I can now watch these ECF Conference Final games as a passive and impartial observer. I can enjoy VanVleet torching the Bucks repeatedly from deep after being a pure booty flake for the first four games of the series. His play brings neither sadness or joy. It just is, nothing but a representation of existence manifested in the universal matrix.

All that said, BOY HOWDY I got SUPER mad making this video. DAMN. How is this fair? Here’s a hint: it’s not. I watched, I WATCHED, I saw with my own TWO EYES, VanVleet SUCK for basically the ENTIRE playoffs, and now he decides it’s COOL and ACCEPTABLE to hit SEVEN (7) threes in a close win? Nuh uh. Not cool. NOT acceptable.

It’s fine for someone like Kawhi to go off. He’s allowed to go off. The only thing VanVleet is allowed to do is brick shots and kind of look like a super-discount version of Aubrey Graham. Compiling his threes for your re-consumption was one of the most trying tasks of my existence. Every time I put together three or four of them, I’d fly into a fit of rage and delete all the clips as well as uninstall my video editing software. So that’s why this video is delayed. Sorry. Hope it lives up to your expectations, because it certainly doesn’t to mine.

Remember: I am not even mad.

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