I just have to say that I was so right (SO RIGHT) when I decided that a Terrence Ross midrange-ilation would be the most viscerally satisfying highlight video ever. Because it is. If you need any more convincing, and you don’t want to just watch the video to convince yourself, keep in mind that I…
Read MoreMonth: September 2019
Montrezl Harrell All 201 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Montrezl Harrell sat at the dinner party hosted by Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and tried to focus on making a good impression for new teammates Paul George and Kawhi Leonard. That meant taking dainty bites of the lasagna and chewing them to completion before taking another, rather than scarfing down the entire plate in a…
Read MoreKevin Durant All 319 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Jumperilation Part II)
This is part two of my exploration of the “cats” with whom Kevin Durant “[couldn’t] win a championship with”. Durant was clowned on a lot for that statement, but we really should be clowning on all those guys who he had to share the court with, so that’s what I’m going to do. If you…
Read MoreKevin Durant All 319 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Jumperilation Part I)
Kevin Durant is famous for, among other things, having defended his honor on Twitter by using fake accounts to reply to haters. I personally don’t think that’s such a big deal and I don’t hold it against him (you will never find my alt Twitter accounts, by the way), but one quote of his sticks…
Read MoreKelly Oubre All 70 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Staring in frustration at the empty pad of paper in front of him, Kelly Oubre wondered why he had completely failed to brainstorm any ideas for his struggling web series, Wave Papi’s Man-Overs. The first few episodes had been modest successes, but only because of his own status as a professional athlete. His reach into…
Read MoreJarrett Allen All 170 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
“Do you need help finding anything?” Jarrett Allen realized that he had been standing slack-jawed at the front of the computer components section of Micro Center for at least a minute. The sheer amount of PC hardware in front of him had stunned him; now the employee thought he was some overwhelmed millennial who could…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli All 147 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation)
Journal Entry 9/1/2019: “Today I took up my position in Marco’s neighborhood. As fortune would have it, there is a foreclosed home directly across from his, allowing me easy surveillance at all hours of the day as long as I stay by the front windows. The utilities are disconnected, but I should be able to…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova All 57 Charges Taken Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Charge-ilation)
“Come on man, you can’t go to the beach looking like that.” Standing at his front door, Ersan Ilyasova shrugged. “You know, temperatures by the lakefront can be up to ten degrees colder than temperatures in the urban core. And if it is breezy, I do not want to get chilly.” Brook Lopez and Robin…
Read MoreMiles Bridges All 71 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Standing outside the door of the Hornets’ practice facility, Miles Bridges took a moment to compose himself. He was just returning from a two-month sojourn to the mountainous regions of western North Carolina, where he had reconnected with his inner self, attained a higher spiritual awareness, and, yes, worked on his game. Limiting himself to…
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